There is a lot going on in the world now.
Doesn't it seem like that? Reality is there has ALWAYS been a lot going on in the world but my experience is, social media has brought the world to me and I am, by choice I know, inundated with so much that is not necessarily coming from my own little world. This is a good and bad thing. I am in touch with friends and acquaintances on a level that I may not be should I depend on my own phone calls or emails to keep up. The bad thing is, I am aware of what everyone is going through... and it is a lot. A lot more than I am. I'm very blessed and every day I thank God for those blessings because now more than ever I realize that in a second, those blessings can be taken or something can be added that requires me to draw inner strength that I have never had to draw upon.
The Christmas Season, or Holiday Season or whatever you identify this time of year as is a season to rejoice but it is also a season to reflect and give. Give gifts of service, items and prayers. We as a country are praying jointly for a number of things including the victims of the Connecticut shooting. I think we are also praying jointly for ourselves. I know I am. I'm praying thanks. I'm praying for strength. I'm praying for wisdom and the ability to appreciate what is going on around me to focus on my own family and the blessings bestowed upon us. I am having trouble separating myself from others' trials and bringing their own pain onto myself. That is the nature of compassion and caring I realize but there is a time when you need to withdraw or for lack of a better word, numb yourself to the ever present pain that someone is experiencing.
This isn't the cheerful post I had intended for today... to be honest, I was going to talk about gospel music and my dream of singing in church with a massive gospel choir backing me up. Riveting post, right?!
But, I've found myself feeling guilty celebrating knowing what others are going through. Then, I realized, we should not feel guilty celebrating Christ, our families or our blessings. We should celebrate those things but do so knowing that there is suffering on every level and that is the reality of life. Life on Earth is not "it". What comes after our time here on Earth is "it". We are a selfish being and that is innately in us. If we trust in God and turn over our lives to him we will be rewarded. There is a plan in place and as conceited as the human race is, thinking we have control, we have absolutely no control in God's plan other than the will to accept it and trust in it. The plan is unknown to us and I am beginning to better understand that trying to understand the "why" will consume your life. I do not understand, I am accepting this and I am rejoicing in knowing that I do not have to control my fate. What a burden to bear.
I could go on and on and on about this but this season exists because Christ was born. Celebrate this!! I'll wrap this around to my initial post planned for today... and the inspiration for that post was the song "Joy To The World". Mariah Carey version... of course. That song embodies what I am going to do these next few days and that is celebrate, honor and praise God. We must live this life before we can get to God's kingdom and this life is not our reward. Do not confuse it for that and understand why it isn't. I do not understand why certain people experience certain trials and others do not. I cannot continue to dwell on it in turn ignoring and not celebrating that I am not, at this moment, having to endure a trial on another level. Right now, life is good and the inner ache I am experiencing is dulling the good. I do not want to be numb to others pain but I do not want to miss out on my lack of.
I'm slowly detracting myself from the public forums because of this. I will still look at the fun pictures and enjoy the lighter aspects of life that my friends share and I of course will contribute prayers and support for those who need it but I will not, cannot, let it dominate my thoughts and life. I'm focusing more on my own little world and less and less on the uncontrollable aspects of the entire world. "Ignorance is bliss" and while I do not want to be ignorant, I am not going to be consumed by the sadness. I will help bring hope and light to those that are despairing and feeling enclosed by darkness but I will not feel hopeless and consumed myself.
Merry Christmas friends and family!! There is joy in the world, let us celebrate it!!
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