Backpacking. The Truth.

Friends.  We all know that I like to be outside.  I like to fish, I like to hike, I like to camp, I like to float in a canoe and drink cold beer while my husband paddles us along, I like to backpack.... or so I thought.

We started out the weekend by camping Friday night close to where we would take off.  Camping is fun.  We had steaks, hashbrowns, wine, still pretty clean from my Friday morning shower.  I knew my pack was heavy, we had packed it earlier in the week and weighed it.  It was heavy.  John assured me I was in good enough shape to handle this two day treck through the woods of Arkansas.  I believed him because dangit I've been working out at the gym for almost a year and I can flex and see muscle!  So anyways we were optimistic and excited.  I must mention my friend Ginger because she was wary of this from the beginning but had a positive attitude as well.... we were in it together.  Saturday morning comes and we're kind of tired already and definitely grungy.  It was cold that weekend so we were cold, caffeine defficient and one night into our wilderness weekend.  Still optimistic that it wouldn't be that bad.

We get those packs on (someone has to help you lift it onto your back because it's too heavy to lift off the ground and sling onto your back yourself.  This should have been the red flag that we ran with.)  Well we start off the hike at a cute old house and barn.  First thing we see is a group of people on horses.  They say things like "Wow, ya'll are carrying a lot of gear!".  I took pride in that and I'm all tough and conditioned and totally do this every weekend... not.  There is a reason they were on horses folks!

Two hours in our husbands have already led us two miles astray.  As in, we hiked two miles that we had no reason to hike.  Ginger told them to get their acts together (the nice version) and they eventually realized dragging us around longer than necessary increased our whine factor immensely.

The day continues and I start to complain, oh wait no I had been saying this since we took our first step, that my shoulders HURT.  My hips HURT. BRUISED John, look they are bruised!  He said "We'll just keep adjusting until it feels right".  That never happened.  Apparently it can't happen.  This is a truth that no one shared.... you are in pain the whole time.  You somehow have to ignore the sharp pain in your shoulder and hip and look around you and try to appreciate the scenery that God has blessed you with.  All I could think about was when we were stopping so that I could eat that damn Cliff bar in my pack.

Ginger agreed with me the whole time, sweet friend.  She absorbed 99% of my complaining.

We eventually stopped for lunch at 2:00 after hiking up a 45 degree angle, straight up, for over an hour on gravel.  Do you know what it feels like to walk on loose rocks in hiking boots with a 30 pound pack on your back and a hungry stomach?  No you don't and I'll tell you it sucks.  Actually I thought I might be in a mini hell.  I had irrational thoughts halfway up this hill.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of a few fun moments and pretty scenery as well as surprises like old homesteads.  I complained and almost cried.  I drank my water out of the camel back like I was in the Sahara Desert.  I told John again that my shoulders and hips were bruised and then I started focusing on the wine bladder that John was carrying.  If we could just make it to camp there would be wine and cheese!!  We made it.  Eventually.  I'll tell you it is more painful to take that pack off and put it back on than it is to just keep it on your back.  I never seemed to remember that little tidbit until I was having it hoisted back up and then I remembered... don't take it off or you'll realize how good it feels to not have it weighing on you like years of guilt for something very bad (I'm imagining this guilt, this must be what it feels like).

A few things to know about backpacking besides the above:
No chairs.  As in nothing to relax your back or shoulders against.  Big one.
No bathrooms (duh) so no showers (duh) But those baby wipes can only make you feel so clean...
No fresh food.  I wanted fruit like I want a new pair of Frye boots.  Bad.
No down pillows.
Clean clothes are all relevant.
No mirrors.  Actually this is a good thing.  You don't want to see yourself.
No chairs.
No sympathy.  Everyone else is experiencing what you are so they don't feel sorry for you.
No ice.  I wanted a cup o' ice soooo bad.
No caffeine.  Coffee would have probably shut me up for at least an hour.
Nothing soft!  We had to sit on our sleeping pads and they are not soft or comfy.  They are bearable.

I won't keep going.  This has just scared you into not backpacking ever.  Unfortunately John and I have invested too much money into our gear and I've somehow managed to heal from the deep bruising so that we will probably go again in the spring.  Luckily hunting and football are absorbing the rest of our fall weekends so I'm safe until about March.

Here are some good things I experienced on our weekend:

Please take into account that this was my first trip.  I was not mentally prepared, I was not properly packed (wine is stupidly heavy) and I was not physically conditioned for it.  The best thing to do is what I see those outdoorsy people in Fayetteville do all the time... weight your pack how it will be when you go and hike around a couple times a week just on your street and possibly some short trails to condition your body.  There is no reason your shoulders should just be prepared already... your legs and HIPS are working in ways that they really have no reason to normally and you can't imagine the way that extra 30 pounds changes the way you walk and the extra energy it takes to just balance yourself.  

I'm going again.  I'm going to have a better attitude and I'm going to be better prepared.  (Someone print this for my husband so he can remind me of it 7 miles in the next trip)